I officially have 6 days left in Buenos Aires, meaning I have been here for 54...wow. That's a pretty significant chunk of time. It feels like it at least. So, now of course I want to know exactly what I have accomplished and learned from this experience. 

There's no doubt that I am better off for coming here instead of staying in Valdivia all summer. Even when I was feeling lonely and missing Marcelo, his family, my friends, and the sense of familiarity and security I had in Valdivia I wouldn't have gone back early if someone handed me an airplane ticket for that afternoon. I have been looking forward to going back to Chile after two months (no more, no less) in Buenos Aires since the day I arrived in Argentina. I knew that I needed that amount of time to do some serious catching up to do on figuring out who I was. I like to think of my year as being divided into 4 stages: Valdivia 1, Buenos Aires, Valdivia 2, and Travel. During my first experience in Valdivia, I observed, adapted, and in the process lost a little bit of my spunk and Katelyn-ness as Owen Wilson wisely states in "You, Me, and Dupree." I am convinced that it is a perfectly normal and healthy reaction given that I was put in so many situations where I was completely ignorant and even a bit dumb at times. It never hurts to be humbled, especially at my age when I think that the world is at my feet. However, in addition to being humbled, part of the life cycle is having moments when you get glimpses of your potential and what makes you tick like no one on this Earth has ever ticked before. 

I remember thinking earlier in the year how I thought my second semester in Valdivia would play out. I pictured myself dressing more in line with the Chilean styles, possibly even dying my hair darker to blend better, and basically do everything I could to call less attention to myself as a foreigner. However, after spending some time in Buenos Aires and enjoying the freedom of complete anonymity , I've come to realize that I really like the way I dress and look when I am being completely myself, rather than trying to imitate another culture. I have to face the fact at one point or another that I will never pass off as a Chilean, so with my original mindset I am setting myself up for failure and disappointment. I think I am just not comfortable with the idea of being so different than everyone else. In the US I am your standard run-of-the-mill white girl, so being more recognizably distinct is quite an experience.

I quickly came to realize upon arriving in South America that because I am from the US I am a gringa, a title that both grants me a higher social status as well as discrimination at times, both equally undeserved. Gringos in general are characterized as being any combination of ignorant, entertaining, beautiful, rich, overconfident, or just plain stupid. I hate that I have some of these negative associations pegged to me upon first glance, and I think for that reason I wanted to alter my appearance a little to make it less apparent where I was from and therefore what kind of person I was. However, after coming to the conclusion that I will never fool anyone about being Chilean and realize that I like the way I am as a gringa I've decided to change my game plan when I get back to Chile. I think that being a gringo is an attitude above all else. Therefore, I'd like to think that my outlook and actions will let people know what kind of person I am rather than the way I look or dress. I can tell that after spending 6 months in South America, I have become more aware of different cultural perspectives and traditions. I think you could say I am less "gringa" than I was before in certain aspects. When my intensive Spanish course started up in February I was jolted by a mass of 250 American students fresh off the plane from the US, ready to take the Buenos Aires nightclubs and malls by storm. Gringos. That's the only word I can think of to describe them, and that is exactly the kind of behavior that I wouldn't touch with a ten feet pole. As a result, I suppose you could call me fairly anti-social within the limits of the university, but it's for my own good I figure. I have spent the last 6 months trying to get myself out of the gringa mindset, and I have no desire to make backwards progress. I know... sounds a little cutthroat but I want to make the most of the time I have here.